shapeupship | 001 [text/action]

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001 [text/action]

lame
how could those nubby horns be sharp enough
dude has the nubbiest nubby horns
dont think rose died and she got gored by tzs
and lets not get into kanayas horns and the mayor
how the hell did the mayor make it and i died
not even a heroic death
just landed on a pair of the nubbiest horns in paradox space
couldnt be a just death either
unless paradox space is using my life in exchange for everyone elses
so when do i wake up?

[for anyone that happens to walk by Dave's room, he'll be muttering this all to himself as he types it]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY MY HORNS STABBED YOU. IF ANYTHING, *I* SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO WAS KILLED BY YOU, BECAUSE YOUR FAT ASS LANDED ON ME.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SLANDERING BULLSHIT STRIDER. SERIOUSLY.

you stabbed me just because you say you didnt doesnt make it less of a thing that happened
...
wait how are you here
i didnt crush you did i?

[and suddenly Dave feels bad because Karkat is his friend and he really doesn't want to be responsible for a friend's death]

HELL NO. I WOULDN'T DIE FROM SOME PUSSY DEATH LIKE BEING CRUSHED BY YOU. OR BEING STABBED WITH HORNS.
YOU'RE SAYING YOU SAW JOHN. SO WHEN DID I NOT STAB YOU WITH MY HORNS?

[okay that makes him feel better. Now he can get back to ripping on the fact that Karkat's nubby horns are even useless for not stabbing something]

you remember seeing jade all grimdark and angry barking?

YEAH?
THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. IS THAT REALLY WHEN YOU DIED? WAY BACK THEN?

yeah right after Jade dogported us down to the planet
and we landed in a pile
if im alive when you died then i must have come back
but if i never died in the first place
one of us is from a doomed reality
sorry man

WONDERFUL. IT'S PROBABLY ME. I'M THE ONE WHO SCREWED EVERYTHING UP AGAIN.

well yeah it probably is
but by screwing up you get to tell me how
so i can prevent the alpha karkat from dying

YEAH.
...YEAH.

[at least some good will come out of this]

[but then another message comes through before Dave can respond]

BUT WAIT. HOW CAN YOU PROTECT ME...
I MEAN. THE ALPHA KARKAT...
IF YOU DIE FIRST?

im clearly not permanently dead
how is getting stabbed by your nubby horns a just or heroic action
so just lay it on me
how did you die

IF YOU'RE NOT DEAD THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS GODDAMN SHIP?

but i am dead
just not permanently
try to keep up kk
should be coming back to life soon
unless this place is like the furthest ring
then time might not work the same here
actually thats probably why i havent woken up yet

FUCK. YOU'VE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT THEN, DO YOU?
OKAY. FINE. WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND GET OFF THIS SHIP, MAKE SURE TO TELL THE OTHER KARKAT TO NOT EAT THE BANANA.
DO NOT EAT THE FUCKING BANANA!!!!!!!

...
youre telling me you choked to death on a banana
...
seriously
not shitting me are you?

Edited 2013-04-22 09:02 (UTC)

DAVE. DAVE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST DO WHAT I SAY, ALRIGHT?
IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT I DO NOT INGEST THIS BANANA. AND I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN LEARN WHAT A BANANA IS! IN FACT, GO AHEAD AND KEEP EVERY LONG SOFT SPONGY THING YOU SEE AWAY FROM MY GODDAMN MOUTH.

Edited 2013-04-22 09:08 (UTC)

[it's a really good thing that Karkat isn't able to see him because hes basically laughing right now. in fact hes laughing so hard that...]

hahahahahahahahaha

[yeah, he had a line of his laughter typed out]

oh man hahahahahahaha
ill keep all the ... bananas ...
and other long
soft
objects
away from your mouth
hahahahahaha

[oh god, he shouldn't be laughing, but he can't help it]

I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING. IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU ASSHOLE. JUST DO IT.
WHERE ARE YOU?

if you dont know then im not telling you
but im in my room if you want to hang out

I FIGURED THAT, DUMBASS. WHERE'S YOUR ROOM? I'M NOT GOING TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES LOOKING FOR YOU.

come on kk lets play hide and seek

[oh god... why?! WHY IS HE NOW IMAGINING SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T?!]

b3

FUCK YOUR HUMAN HIDE AND SEEK.
I'M COMING NOW THEN. I HOPE YOU'RE DECENT.

[by that, he of course means he hopes there aren't any pails around. and the communicator is off for now.]

[and he spends a few moments by himself face-palming at Karkat's words. Why why why do they always have such embarrassing conversations.

He does make sure he's decent first. And yeah, figured as much since the previous person here didn't say anything about his clothes.

After a second thought he glanced around to make sure all cleaning apparatuses are put away.

He's got the door open and is sitting on his bed by the time Karkat arrives]

Yo.

[KK looks around the door and then peeks inside. looks just like the room he was given. so he just invites himself in and sits next to Dave]

Yo, yourself. Shut up and show me the holes, Strider.

...

[yeah you get completely poker face for a good long minute while he contemplates that thing you just said]

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