[Action]

[io_non_ti_invidio]

[Welp, looks like no one's getting any relaxation today.

Because right now there is a very angry Italian trudging around, kicking doors open and growling at shipmates. If you are lucky, you have two options: one, you're buff and terrifying; two, you're a lovely lady. The former will be avoided at all costs, the latter will be catcalled and flirted with. To anyone not so lucky? You will be berated, glared at and subject to obscene gestures.

Welcome to Lovino Vargas's panic mechanism.]

Comments

[guiltapalooza]

[Here's a lovely lady, but she's not thrilled about being flirted with. She's gay and taken. He gets a stern frown in response.]

Could we maybe skip the post-death existential affirming-my-reality-through-romance crisis and say we didn't?

[io_non_ti_invidio]

[Spoiler: He's gay too.

He shrugs.] Or we can not skip it and say we did. What, got a boyfriend?

[guiltapalooza]

[Oh good, this will be fun, then.]

A girlfriend, [she counters, confident but not sharp.] Who I love very much. So you're barking up the wrong tree, buddy.

[io_non_ti_invidio]

...Oh.

[The pride he handles this with would make Johnny Bravo proud.]

Can you tell me where I am and what's going on, then?

[guiltapalooza]

[lol Johnny Bravo. But Willow seems ready to let the topic go, and moves right on into exposition without pause or awkwardness.]

Sure, but you're not gonna like it. You... probably remember dying, right? [Maybe she can slide into this explanation...]

[io_non_ti_invidio]

[He scrunches up his nose.] Not really. I mean.. not dying dying. I remember getting a couple gunshots to the chest, but that shouldn't be able to kill me.

...Did it?

[guiltapalooza]

No. Um. [She bites her lip.] I think it did.

This is the afterlife. Our version of the afterlife.

[io_non_ti_invidio]

...Wh...

[Panic in 3... 2...]

But nations don't die! It takes years and years for them to die! And I can't- ...I've got a brother to take care of, I can't die yet! This isn't funny, damnit!

[guiltapalooza]

Wha... nations? I mean, I understand the-- cause I have people, too, and I can't just abandon them, but--

Nations?

[io_non_ti_invidio]

Yes, nations. Are you stupid? [He grimaces.] When nations are formed the first baby born of that country becomes the personification of it and grows with the country, the only way to kill them is by killing off their whole nation. That's how our immortality works. So you're telling me the entire fucking southern half of Italy was killed overnight?

[guiltapalooza]

I'm not stupid! [she protests, flipping right back to indignant at the drop of a hat.] But I've never heard of... Are you serious?

[She flounders. It takes a lot to stump a Buffy character, so good job there.] You're south Italy? Why just the south?

[io_non_ti_invidio]

Because my brother is the north. [Obviously.] And our lives are both connected to the same thing - Italians. So if I'm dead, that means he's in serious danger and I need to go home now.

[guiltapalooza]

I get that, believe me. I have friends that I need to, to be there for, too. [And they're close enough that they count as family to her, so she really does get it as much as she can.]

But I'm not your enemy here. [She shakes her head, frowning.] I didn't have anything to do with this-- I was brought here same as you. If I knew how to leave-- other than playing their game-- I'd have done it already.