shapeupship | [TEXT] ONE.

WOW. THIS IS HILARIOUS. I AM LITERALLY SITTING HERE AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF OR ROLLING ON THE FLOOR OR DOING WHATEVER SHITTY THINGS YOU PINK-FLESHED ALIENS DO WHEN SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENS.
ACTUALLY, WAIT. NOTHING FUNNY HAS HAPPENED. SO I'M NOT REALLY LAUGHING AT ALL. IN FACT, I WANT TO KNOW WHY THE FUCK I'M ON A SHIP BEING TOLD THAT I'M DEAD. I DON'T REMEMBER DYING. OBVIOUSLY, IT HAPPENED. I GUESS I'M NOT SURPRISED. IT'S JUST ANOTHER THING I HAPPENED TO FUCK UP ON.
OKAY, SO I'M DEAD. SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW.
AM I *REALLY* SUPPOSED TO TRY AND MEND MY WAYS. ARE YOU SHITTING ME. I'M LAUGHING AGAIN, ONLY THIS TIME, AT YOUR PROFOUNDLY RIDICULOUS IDEA THAT BETTERING MYSELF WILL ALLOW ME TO BE RAISED FROM THE DEAD AGAIN. WOW. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH SUCH A PERFECT WAY TO SUCKER DEAD LOSERS INTO TAKING CARE OF YOUR GHOST SHIP. I THINK WE'VE FOUND THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S BIGGEST VOMIT-INDUCING SACK OF NOOK EXCREMENT AWARD!
IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WON'T, I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS ROOM AND CONTEMPLATE THE FUCKING AFTERLIFE AND WONDER HOW I ROYALLY SCREWED EVERYTHING UP. THANKS.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Then the answer's no. Sorry to let you down.

SO BASICALLY YOU HAVE NOTHING USEFUL TO SAY. WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?

So what, do most strangers agree to let you fuck them?

DID YOU *REALLY* JUST ASK THAT? OH MY GOD GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, BULGEBRAIN. ARE ALL HUMANS LIKE THIS? DO THEY CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT SLAMMING INTO EACH OTHER WITH THEIR FILTHY ORGANS AND FLESHY PINK WIGGLER-MAKING JUICE? OR IS IT JUST YOU?

[Shinjiro embeds a link.] ?

You got a different definition for "what I'm asking is fuck you"?

[He'll just.... ask about those interesting euphemisms later. maybe.]

Edited (hurrrr html) 2013-04-18 23:54 (UTC)

OH, I'M SORRY. WOULD IT HAVE BEEN BETTER IF I'D SAID *FUCK OFF?* BECAUSE I CAN SAY THAT.
FUCK OFF.
DO YOU EVEN USE THAT THINKPAN OF YOURS BEFORE SPEWING OUT SHIT FROM YOUR FINGERS?

Yeah, that works better.

I'm pretty sure you ain't actually looking for an answer.
How bout you ask your warden for a diary instead of using the network as a personal bitchfest?

DIARY?

Yeah, so you can whine and be pissy without the rest've us having to look at it.

OR. WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN OFF YOUR COMMUNICATOR? PROBLEM SOLVED, ASSHOLE.
I'LL BITCH TO WHOEVER THE HELL I WANT.

Fine. Bitch away.

I WILL, THANK YOU!
SO WHY ARE YOU HERE? AND ARE YOU BELIEVING THIS SHIT?

'Cause I died. And I believe the part about dying because I was there when it happened.

Hell if I know about the rest.

SO YOU'RE DEAD TOO. DID YOU GET ASSIGNED A WARDEN, OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BABYSIT YOU?

Yeah. He ain't been in my business too much.

But he's dead too.

THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK, IS IT?
THAT IS PROOF THAT THIS IS ALL A BUNCH OF MUSCLEBEAST MANURE. FUCKING SHIP CAN'T KEEP ITS FUCKING RULES STRAIGHT.

Which part, him being dead? Nah, that part's okay I think.

He already went through this kind thing, he said. Which blows. I'd rather just get to re-dying than have to look after dead assholes.

I DIDN'T THINK WARDENS WERE ALLOWED TO BE DEAD. I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GET SOME MAGICAL WISH GRANTED IF THEY TURNED THEIR INMATE INTO A MINDLESS SLAVE.
NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!

Making sense or not doesn't change the bits we know.

We died. We're on some boat, for some reason that ain't clear, and some people to look after us or whatever. We've been told everything from we can go back to life, to go back to being dead if we 'change'.

We can go in circles all damn day but it ain't gonna help anything.

I THINK THAT IS THE SMARTEST THING YOU'VE SAID ALL DAY. FUCK THIS SHIT. FORGET I ASKED ANYTHING.
WOW.
I THINK I'LL JUST TRY TO FIND THE CAPTAIN HIMSELF.

Good luck finding anyone who works here other than the wardens.

If you do let us know.

OH YOU CAN BE SURE I WILL. I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Cool. So you got a name?

[A pause.]

I mean the all-caps and grey is a giveaway, but still.

YOU'VE SEEN MY QUIRK BEFORE? ARE YOU A TROLL?

Your-- what?

No. You're just the only asshole on this thing putting that much effort into it.

So if you type something again I'm gonna know you're the same whiny bitch.

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