[TEXT] ONE.

[crabkind]

WOW. THIS IS HILARIOUS. I AM LITERALLY SITTING HERE AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF OR ROLLING ON THE FLOOR OR DOING WHATEVER SHITTY THINGS YOU PINK-FLESHED ALIENS DO WHEN SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENS.
ACTUALLY, WAIT. NOTHING FUNNY HAS HAPPENED. SO I'M NOT REALLY LAUGHING AT ALL. IN FACT, I WANT TO KNOW WHY THE FUCK I'M ON A SHIP BEING TOLD THAT I'M DEAD. I DON'T REMEMBER DYING. OBVIOUSLY, IT HAPPENED. I GUESS I'M NOT SURPRISED. IT'S JUST ANOTHER THING I HAPPENED TO FUCK UP ON.
OKAY, SO I'M DEAD. SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW.
AM I *REALLY* SUPPOSED TO TRY AND MEND MY WAYS. ARE YOU SHITTING ME. I'M LAUGHING AGAIN, ONLY THIS TIME, AT YOUR PROFOUNDLY RIDICULOUS IDEA THAT BETTERING MYSELF WILL ALLOW ME TO BE RAISED FROM THE DEAD AGAIN. WOW. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH SUCH A PERFECT WAY TO SUCKER DEAD LOSERS INTO TAKING CARE OF YOUR GHOST SHIP. I THINK WE'VE FOUND THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S BIGGEST VOMIT-INDUCING SACK OF NOOK EXCREMENT AWARD!
IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WON'T, I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS ROOM AND CONTEMPLATE THE FUCKING AFTERLIFE AND WONDER HOW I ROYALLY SCREWED EVERYTHING UP. THANKS.

Comments

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

So? You want me to ask your damn permission before I respond?

[text]

[crabkind]

YOU DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, AND I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT. YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE AN INCOMPETENT ASSHOLE IF THAT WILL PLEASE YOU.
AND I'LL PROBABLY DO THE SAME FOR ME SINCE I CAN'T SEEM TO GO ONE CONVERSATION WITHOUT STUFFING MY GODDAMN FOOT IN MY FACE HOLE. DOES THAT SOUND FAIR?

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

I'm pretty sure that's the same thing we were doing before.

So yeah, fair.

[text]

[crabkind]

GREAT. SOUNDS AWESOME.
...
AND I THINK I JUST FOUND MY WARDEN. FUCK.

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

Oh yeah? He an asshole, or all touchy-feely? Or something else?

Re: [text]

[crabkind]

HE'S AN ANGEL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE HIM. HE SOUNDS LIKE HE'S GOT A STICK UP HIS ASS.

[text]

[ruineaxt]

[wat. The only angels he knows are the ones the Leader summons...]

Angel as in....?
That blows. Just avoid him.

[text]

[crabkind]

AN ANGEL, AS IN SOME IMMORTAL CREATURE THAT LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN AND SUPPOSEDLY GRANTS MIRACLES. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

[text]

[ruineaxt]

Tell him to miracle you off the ship.

[shinji stop being a lazy fuck and scroll the fuck down goddamn]

[text]

[crabkind]

I TRIED!!!! HE SAID HE WOULDN'T GO RUNNING AROUND *WILLY NILLY.*
I'M GOING TO LOCK MYSELF IN THIS FUCKING ROOM. I DON'T CARE IF IT DOESN'T HAVE A RECUPERACOON.

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

Sucks for you. And I think they can get in. You'd be better off hiding seriously anywhere else.

Also the hell is that?

[text]

[crabkind]

THEY CAN GET INTO OUR *ROOM?* THAT'S AN INVASION OF PRIVACY!
AND WHAT IS WHAT?

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

Here's hoping your angel ain't one for 5 AM wakeup calls.

A recurpercoon. Thing.

[text]

[crabkind]

OH. I GUESS IT'S LIKE WHAT YOU HUMANS WOULD CALL A... BED? I THINK. WE SLEEP THERE.

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

Yeah, bed.

You gonna be good without one?

[text]

[crabkind]

I'LL BE FINE. I'VE ALREADY SPENT THREE YEARS WITHOUT IT. I GUESS ANOTHER YEAR WOULDN'T HURT ME. AFTER ALL, I'M DEAD. WHAT DO I NEED A FUCKING RECUPERACOON FOR NOW?

[text]

[ruineaxt]

Good point. You'll be fine.

Until the angel barges in, but whatever.

[text]

[crabkind]

GOD DAMN IT.
I'LL BE BACK LATER MAYBE.

Re: [text]

[ruineaxt]

Good luck.