(network - video)

[storesbooks]

[There's an extremely British, slightly overweight, beaming middle-aged man with a tartan scarf staring into the camera.]

I've finally gotten this working, [he says, self-satisfied.] These contraptions are quite tricky, aren't they?

Well. I must say it's been somewhat slow here, even for me. Would anyone care to join me for a cup of tea and feeding the ducks?

[There's a short pause. Don't ask where the ducks will come from. He'll handwave them up.]

--Dear me, I've entirely forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Aziraphale. I suppose there's no use trying to hide it anymore; I'm an angel. It's lovely to meet you.

Comments

[ruineaxt]

[...Ducks.] Don't you mean seagulls?

[Not that he's seen many of those either.]

So you're that angry-troll's warden, huh? I'd thought an angel'd look different. [You know more sexy-like ]

[storesbooks]

Not at all. Ducks are, er, traditional for me and a friend of mine.

Yes, I suppose that's me. Angels may look however we like, though requisitioning a new body is a dreadful amount of paperwork. I quite like this form.

DERP I SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED uh audio I guess on Shinji's end

[ruineaxt]

[......]

Traditional, huh. Sounds weird as hell.

Paperwork? [A short snort at that.] Why? You gotta get it approved? Have some kinda bullshit reason?

I didn't even notice tbh

[storesbooks]

It's not weird in the least, [he protests. Gosh, rude. And swearing again.] I believe Crowley thought it was quite funny to pretend to have secret meetings in a stereotypical location. Given that our meetings were, well, somewhat secret.

Unfortunately yes. Upstairs is rather particular about it. [If it sounds like he's glum and resigned to a bureaucratic mess, well, he is.]

communication of some soorrtttt.

[ruineaxt]

It is on a boat full of dead people in the middle of some kind of endless ocean, yeah. Crowley's... what, your partner? ["partner."]

So you're some kind of semi-deity and you ain't trusted to make your own decisions. Do they dress you, too?

[storesbooks]

Oh no, it wasn't here. It was back on Earth. [There's a short, thoughtful pause.] I suppose by some definition he is my partner. Certainly no one else would qualify.

[Az is oblivious to your innuendo.]

No, I simply like tartan, because it's stylish, [he stresses, huffing.] I wouldn't say I'm trusted to make my own decisions, but I frequently do so anyway.

[ruineaxt]

So is he here to feed ducks with you?

[just as keikaku]

...And, what, your god doesn't notice? [HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THESE BELIEFS gosh.]

[storesbooks]

... No. [And he suddenly sounds disappointed and rueful.] I'm not ashamed to admit that I miss him. It's been several thousand years, after all. It's entirely strange not having him waffing about, dispensing petty tempting.

Certainly not. He notices everything. But He also isn't very, ah, directly communicative. When I say Upstairs, I quite specifically am referring to my superiors in the angelic Host.

[ruineaxt]

[....Yep, definitely "partner".] Not like you won't see him when you go back, right? Did he not want to sign up on this stupid boat too?

Right, there's some kinda... order. [Minato summoned some of those sometimes, if he remembers right. Then again, that kid summoned a whole lot of crazy shit.] So, what would they do to you?

[storesbooks]

[There's fond exasperation as he says,] Redeeming souls is not exactly his business. Crowley is a demon. But yes, I can't imagine what could happen to him while I'm gone; it'll just be like in the fourteenth century when he took a long nap.

Recall me. [There's a slight shudder with the words.] Heaven isn't, er, it isn't bad exactly, but humans are just lovely. Earth is... is more or less my home now.

[ruineaxt]

[Az can't see it,. but he shrugs. Might as well let the guy reminisce about his.. uh. Demon boyfriend.] So that's one've the reasons your meetings were secret? He's a demon, you supposed to be trying to stop him?

[...Huh.] Why? If your god cared he'd do something about it. Why're they going over his head?

[storesbooks]

Yes, that is, that is the reason. [A little puzzled because there's only one reason.] And he's supposed to be stopping me, of course. He tempts and I thwart his tempting. But it's just been the two of us as field agents since the Beginning, so after a while, well. One gets to know the enemy.

He always cares, [he says sternly,] but He doesn't often interfere, as I said. It's all part of the ineffable plan. For the most part the Metatron enforces his own interpretation of the rules. [Is that a note of dislike for the Metatron? Yes it is.]

[ruineaxt]

...So the whole time, it's just been two guys on Earth to mess with humans. And instead've doing your jobs right, you're... Having secret meetings. [Reminds him of how lame the gods are in Greek myths. :T ] What's the point've it, then?

So he cares, but not enough to... do anything. [He sounds more confused and questioning than judging, really, trying to understand the logic of this.] Instead he lets some other dude figure out what he means.

[storesbooks]

We do our jobs, [he protests, affronted.] My goodness, there's no need to-- to impugn our work ethic. But humans are altogether more subtle these days than they used to be. It's no longer the business of, of tempting one priest into having one lustful affair, it's broader. Our secret meetings, as you put them, hardly detract from that.

[Aziraphale is surprisingly patient and not offended on this topic, compared to the other one.] We all have to have free will, dear boy. Well, perhaps not 'we' as angels, exactly, but humans do. That's the entire point.

[not here]

[crabkind]

[so this is why his auricular sponge clots were burning.

watching you man]

[valianced]

[ Here. Have a young girl, who is more than happy to make new friends. ]

Oh, these things are really difficult, aren't they? But if you are looking for company for tea well, I'd love to join you. I'm Lucy, Lucy Pevensie, it's nice to meet you. I don't think I've met an angel before.

[ But she's met satyrs and lions and talking beavers -- no big deal. ]