shapeupship | [TEXT] ONE.

WOW. THIS IS HILARIOUS. I AM LITERALLY SITTING HERE AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF OR ROLLING ON THE FLOOR OR DOING WHATEVER SHITTY THINGS YOU PINK-FLESHED ALIENS DO WHEN SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENS.
ACTUALLY, WAIT. NOTHING FUNNY HAS HAPPENED. SO I'M NOT REALLY LAUGHING AT ALL. IN FACT, I WANT TO KNOW WHY THE FUCK I'M ON A SHIP BEING TOLD THAT I'M DEAD. I DON'T REMEMBER DYING. OBVIOUSLY, IT HAPPENED. I GUESS I'M NOT SURPRISED. IT'S JUST ANOTHER THING I HAPPENED TO FUCK UP ON.
OKAY, SO I'M DEAD. SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW.
AM I *REALLY* SUPPOSED TO TRY AND MEND MY WAYS. ARE YOU SHITTING ME. I'M LAUGHING AGAIN, ONLY THIS TIME, AT YOUR PROFOUNDLY RIDICULOUS IDEA THAT BETTERING MYSELF WILL ALLOW ME TO BE RAISED FROM THE DEAD AGAIN. WOW. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH SUCH A PERFECT WAY TO SUCKER DEAD LOSERS INTO TAKING CARE OF YOUR GHOST SHIP. I THINK WE'VE FOUND THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S BIGGEST VOMIT-INDUCING SACK OF NOOK EXCREMENT AWARD!
IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WON'T, I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS ROOM AND CONTEMPLATE THE FUCKING AFTERLIFE AND WONDER HOW I ROYALLY SCREWED EVERYTHING UP. THANKS.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dun smirks a little.]

How about all of it?

[Of course he knew this was crazy. Hell, he had a hard time believing the whole stuff himself. He liked to look at things logically when it was possible. But it wasn't in this case. Existing even when he remembered how his cousin had driven his sword through him was already crazy enough.]

You've got no proof that all of this is a lie either, right?

NO. BUT IT'S FAR MORE LIKELY THAT THIS SHIT ISN'T REAL.

Hmph. So you stick in your denial.

[Dun isn't sure which option is really better, to be honest.]

How about we make a bet and try out who of us is right?

A BET? SURE, WE CAN DO THAT. AT LEAST THAT'D MAKE THINGS INTERESTING AROUND THIS DUMP HOLE. WHAT'S THE WAGER?

[Good, Dun has almost expected that the other person would run with their tail between their legs. It was satisfying to know this wouldn't be the case.]

I'm not sure what this world has to offer materially. Do you have an idea?

IF I DID, DO YOU THINK I WOULD'VE ASKED YOU, GENIUS? THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS WE CHOOSE HORRIBLE THINGS FOR THE LOSERS TO DO.

Hah. Perhaps you asked with something already in the back of your mind, but alright. The loser will have to serve the winner for one day. How about that?

LAME. THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST DEGRADING SHIT EVER. LIKE RUNNING AROUND IN A FRILLY HUMAN DRESS DEGRADING.

Why a dress?! [He's already uncomfortable enough with women as it is, why should he wear their clothes?!]

AND NOT JUST A DRESS!!
YOU GOTTA WEAR A DRESS AND THAT MOUTH PAINT AND SMELLY FUMES AND ALL THE OTHER SHIT HUMAN WOMEN WEAR. AND THEN YOU'VE GOT TO STAY IN IT THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY.

J-just what's wrong with you?! So you have had an idea already, after all.

SO YOU'RE NOT CONFIDENT IN YOUR DECISION? WANT TO TAKE BACK THE BET? COWARD!

Of course not. Don't you have a better idea then that?

I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ONE.

Tch. That's because I don't do stupid things like wages. The winner wins, the loser loses. That's enough.

YOU'RE A FUCKING COWARD. WE'RE DOING IT MY WAY, OR NOT DOING IT AT ALL.

What did you just say?! I'm not a coward!

THEN PROVE IT. THE BET'S ON!

Alright, it's on. [He won't lose anyway!!! Or so he hopes, at least.]

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